1.11.2017

My Husband Hides Money From Me

..... and I'm okay with that!



Yep. You read 100% correct. In our marriage, my husband has money hidden somewhere and I have no idea how much it is, and I'm not the least bit concerned about it.

I know I'm for sure raising some eyebrows with this one and that is fine with me. I wanted to. Because I need those people who think "she crazy as hell to let this happen" to read this and understand why I'm okay with it. I need those people who are going to talk crap about me and assume all negative things about my marriage to come to the front of the congregation right now.
This post is for you.

So let's take a second to discuss some things about my husband and I's relationship. I'm not going to go too deep into it because it would be straying away from the main point, but I do think it is important to point out a couple key things that are key in our relationship.

His favorite color is red, mine is yellow.
I'm the calm one, he tends to have a hot head.
He's pessimistic, I'm optimistic.
I'm can be a daydreamer, he's more of a go getter.
He's more chill, whereas I'm usually goofy.
I'm horrible with money/spending, whereas he HATES spending money.

So there you have it. You've just learned a few fun facts about my husband and I! Key things that make us totally different, but somehow, brings us close together at the end of the day. Our differences compliment our relationship in such a beautiful way. However, let's focus in on that last one for a second.

"I'm horrible with money/spending, whereas he HATES spending money."

You see, I can have sort of a shopping problem sometimes. I have a hard time walking away from super cute shoes or that fabulous dress that just fits me in all the right places (even if I have no where to wear it right now). I have so much stuff that I'm borderline a hoarder. At least three times a year I have to go through my closets and literally MAKE MYSELF get rid of clothes, shoes, etc. just to make room for all the new stuff that hadn't seemed to make it out of the bags yet. This is not me bragging or trying to put out there everything I have either. This is me sharing and being transparent about a section of my life that most who truly know me probably already assume, but it had never been confirmed until now.

THIS IS WHO I AM.

I own it and I take complete responsibility for it. With that being said, I feel blessed to have a man completely opposite of me in this regard. Marriage is all about balance, and if you have balance in the most conflicting areas of your lives, you will be alright. See, my husband KNOWS I love to shop. He knows I have a weakness when it comes to spending money on things I don't need. However, he also knows that I am not stupid. He knows that I will make sure everyone and everything around me is taken care of before I go out spending on myself. He knows I'm not a selfish person nor will I do anything to cause us financial pains down the road. This is why for the most part, he leaves me alone. He doesn't question me (much) when packages come in the mail a few times per week or when I go to the mall AGAIN when I was just there a few days ago. I've had my moments where I've gotten a little too carried away and he's had to be like "okay baby, you need to stop the shopping" and I always listen because if it gets to that point, I know I'm doing a lot! It's rare though! *WINK* :)

Now, back to the hiding money part! My husband has put continues to put money away for us in a few different places for financial security. I know the money exists, but I have no idea how much it is or where it is located. He tells me that it is there, but also that I don't need to know how much it is because if I knew how much it was, I might go even crazier in my shopping excursions which on the surface, I'm like "what? No way I wouldn't do that! What kind of person do you think I am with no self control?!", but then deep down, I know that inner shopping voice might start talking to me.. telling me to buy the shoes because "We good! We have a little cushion!" So, he's right. I don't need to know. I trust my husband. He takes VERY good care of me and our household, so there's no reason for me to fret about some money I don't know about because I know whenever I need something, my man is always there to make sure I'm straight.

"build with your partner because when you're building, you're growing as one."

In my opinion, every relationship should have a person that is the most financially responsible to secure hidden funds. If you don't know the money is there, then you won't spend it and you can build with your partner because when you're building, you're growing as one. In America, money is one of the leading causes of stress in a relationship, and even worse, it causes divorce. I read in an article on myfinancialawareness.com that nearly 57% of divorced couples they surveyed cited money problems as the primary reason for the demise of their marriage. Not just money either, but like underlying issues that surround money. Things like lack of communication about money, fear of not having enough money, lack of self-worth for not having much money, and the list goes on and on.

I encourage you to start talking to your partner and find out each of your strengths and weaknesses within your every day lives and your relationship. Then, make sure at least one of you are capable of leading your household financially. Now, I do understand that every relationship is not like ours and some of you may completely disagree with me on this. Some of you may feel you can handle your own finances individually like you're still single or that you don't have enough trust in your spouse for them to handle your (your as in, you and your spouses') money like that, but guess what? That's a HUGE issue in itself love, and I suggest you guys sit down with someone to figure out what is causing this distrust because it won't get better without effort from both parties. 

 I'm curious of your thoughts on this topic, so please drop me a comment or two below! It's okay if you don't agree, like I said, every relationship is different. Just make sure that if you do not handle your finances in this manner, you're handling them in a way where you both will be okay on a rainy day. After all, marriage is when two become one.. so let's not be selfish my friends.

Thank you so much for reading! XO

6 comments:

  1. This shows a great maturity on both your parts! He's not hiding money for selfish gains, he's putting money away for your future and he trusted you enough to tell you what and why he's doing it and you trusted him to always have your best interest at heart!😍

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  2. You are absolutely right! Thank you so much for reading! :)

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  3. This is definitely my husband and I! You and I must be kindred spirits! The only difference is my favorite color is blue, his is red! But nonetheless, thanks for this post! I'm no longer mad at him for hiding money from me! lol! Because yes, I will spend it on what I think is currently important. lol.

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    1. Hi Zaakirah!

      I'm so glad you could relate to this post! We can't even be mad at our hubby's because we know they are looking out for our stability and happiness at the end of the day. :)

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  4. I absolutely agree and 1000 percent love that you guys do this! I'm going to share it with the hubby so that he can hide money from me too.

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    1. Hey Sophia!

      I'm glad you agree with this! Life is so much easier when you handle difficult conversations early on and figure out how you'll handle things. I hope this works for you guys, too! :) xo

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