×

Lifestyle + Travel

Currently Coveting





Hi Friends!

I'm excited to be in October because it is finally FALL and y'all know that is my all-time favorite season. The weather here in Nashville hasn't really gotten the memo yet, but I looked ahead at the weather app and we should be getting some cooler days toward the end of this week. I just hope it stays that way. There's so many things to love about fall; the breezy weather, the layered clothing, pumpkin everything, the BEST TV shows, decor, etc. I mean, I love it all. Just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

Now more than ever before, I have to constantly remind myself of all of my favorite things that have to do with fall because I am struggling right now. By struggling, I mean my happiness meter is low and y'all know that is NOT like me.. especially this time of year. I'm trying to have good spirits and be happy in this new season, but if you follow me on Instagram then you may have seen that I lost my Grandmother last week and I am honestly having a really hard time with it. I knew I would be sad whenever the time came, but I didn't know I would feel like a piece of my heart was ripped out of my chest and like... this emptiness inside that I cannot explain.

Y'all know me. If you have been following this blog for awhile, then you will know that I like to keep it real. I like to be transparent and share how I'm feeling and honestly right now it is hard to feel happy for long periods of time. When I'm alone with my thoughts, that's when the hurt creeps in the most. My grandmother was is my heart. I spent literally the majority of my life seeing her every single day because my mother, my grandmother and I lived together up until I went to college. I have memories for DAYS and that is something that helps to keep me going and when I think of the memories, I can't help but to smile.






I don't know if I ever talked about it on here before, but my Grandmother had Dementia which is a horrible disease I wish they could find a cure for. Although she suffered with it for years, she honestly lived a full and healthy life! My grandmother was 88 years old and up until about four months ago when she had stroke, she was still pretty healthy other than the memory loss so we were blessed to have her for as long as we did! Her birthday was in February and I have a video of her dancing and enjoying it. I also got an amazing gift a week before she died. She remembered who I was, embraced me, and told me she loved me. Everyone doesn't get so lucky, so I count it as a blessing and like I said, all of my memories help me get through my moments of sadness.

I honestly wasn't trying to make this entire post sad and about my Grandmother. I really wanted to talk about 'fall'ing into a new season and all the things I am looking forward to.. but I guess when I started typing, my mind and emotions went in a different direction! It happens, right?! Oh well. You know, when it comes down to 'fall'ing into a new season, my life without her is a new season all in itself that I am learning to deal with. It's a new season for my whole family as we lost the matriarch. She would want me to be happy though. She wouldn't want me to be sad, so I am trying my best to be normal! She would love this blog so much because I got my love of style and fashion from her. Even on days when she wouldn't quite know who I was, she would say "I like those shoes!" or "That outfit is cute!" when I would be at her house. She never lost that fashionable touch. :)

Anyone who has experienced loss knows how hard that can be. I'm just going to take things one day at a time and I know one of these days I will be able to cope a little bit better.
 
Now, let's talk a little bit about some of my favorite parts of fall! Or rather, some of the things on my fall bucket list.

I am looking forward to:
  • Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
  • Drinking a Pumpkin Spice Latte (or five lol)
  • Wearing Booties!
  • Watching the Leaves Change Colors
  • Decorating my House for Fall (this is coming this week!)
  • THANKSGIVING..DUH! :)
  • Making Pumpkin Flavored Desserts
  • Preparing for the Holidays
What are some things you are looking forward to doing this Fall? I'd love to hear about them in the comments below! Also, if you're reading this and trying to cope with the loss of a loved one, just know that you will get through it. I am speaking to you and myself. These times of sadness and heartache won't last forever and soon we will be able to be okay. As of my good friends told me, "be patient with yourself" and allow yourself time to grieve. xo

Thank you so much for reading!
Copyright © Through Jam's EyesCREATED BY ThemeShine