2.01.2018

2018 | I'm Ready Now


Hi my lovelies and Happy New Year. :)

I'm sure you're probably thinking "uh.. Jamaria, it is February", and I know, but I'm declaring today as the beginning of MY new year. It is time for me to take back my life and stop moping around! Life is too short, so needless to say, I am SO happy to be getting back on track.

So what has been going on? Why haven't I been blogging? Well, I've just been kind of lost guys; lacking motivation, and just having a really hard time processing my thoughts and feelings. Every time I sat down to complete a blog post, I ended up walking away from the computer before I could even start. Every time I got ready to post on Instagram, I logged out before I could complete a caption. I don't know why, but I just didn't care. The last time I sat down to write a post, all I could come up with was the following:

I don't know.. I don't care.
...but really, I do care.
I'm just not sure where I am with my thoughts at the moment.

Super crappy, right? I mean, it doesn't even make sense! Haha, after I wrote that, I just got up from my computer and walked away... defeated. Don't feel sorry for me though because by the grace of God I am coming out of that horrible place! Have you ever just looked up one day and wondered where all of your motivation went? I mean... it seems as if after the holidays went away, I literally just felt exhausted and DE-motivated. I had no desire to go anywhere, do anything, write any posts, take any pictures, just.. nothing. Why? I'm not sure, but I do know that I hated being in that place. Everything I tried to do to shake my mood just wouldn't work. I found myself cancelling plans simply because I didn't want to be around anyone.


Typing all of these feelings out is sort of therapeutic, but it also makes me feel silly because I seriously have no idea why I was in such a sad, depressing state of mind. I'm not sure if I told you guys, but I quit my full-time job back in August. I know I talked on here a lot about how unhappy I was doing all of the traveling I was doing, so my husband and I made the decision that I would walk away from that situation. For the first couple of months after I quit, I felt relieved. I was excited to finally be able to fix up my new house and not too long after that, Thanksgiving came and then of course, Christmas. I was so busy with the thrills and highs of the holiday season that once it was over, I was left with nothing to do and I was just sitting at home searching for things to do to keep myself busy. You can only clean an unused kitchen so many times, haha.

Now, I'm not 100% sure, but I think being at home all day not doing much contributed to my blank mood, which let me know that I definitely want to go back to work. Maybe once my husband and I have children, I can go back to the "house wife" life, but right now, I need to keep busy. Now, I SHOULD have been taking advantage of the fact that I wasn't working and grinding my butt off on this here blog, but I couldn't. I had no desire to. My fellow bloggers can relate to this contribution to my yucky mood.. I just started feeling like a small fish in a big pond and I lost sight of the reason why I blog in the first place... FOR ME.


Anyway, I don't want to dwell too long on the negative because as I worked myself through this funk, along with the help of my Mom and husband, I learned that my mindset contributes to my mood. I chose these photos for this post because they are some of my favorites from 2017, but ironically, when I took them I wasn't the happiest! I hated basically living in Illinois this past summer, but I trained my mind to think positive, so I was able to get through it. When I have negative thoughts, my day is bad. When I think about all good things, my day is great! The power of positive thinking is SO REAL y'all. I have learned that my life can only flourish if I let it flourish! Nothing is going to happen for me unless I create the opportunity and put myself out there. Hiding in my house does nothing but put me in a depressed state, so after maneuvering through January, I can finally say to 2018 that I am ready now.

Right now I'm feeling great. If you follow me on Instagram, then you will already know that my husband and I started Whole30 on Jan. 29th and so far we are making it through with no slip ups! It hasn't been easy AT ALL, but at the same time, it is making me feel so good. I have been exercising, eating healthier, and cooking! All three of those things are on my list of 2018 goals, so I would like to think that despite my January being rocky, I am off to a great start this year. I am looking forward to all 2018 has to offer me. I can't wait to continue documenting my journey with you guys and I just appreciate you for sticking by me. :)

Thank you so much for reading! xo

15 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, if I had a nickel for every-time I felt down in the dumps, I would be rich! I totally get what you went though, or may still be struggling with. It's hard to not be hard on ourselves, and it is hard to not compare ourselves to others. What we have to remember is that we all contribute something, whether big or small, and oftentimes we are bigger then we know. You have so many fabulous things to contribute to the world-we want to hear your voice, and see your pictures!! Writing is definitely therapeutic-so keep doing it! I'm glad to hear you are making a fresh start this month-and I have heard great things about whole 30!! I can't wait to see all the fabulous things you do this year!! Keep on twirling!!

    XOXO
    Cathy

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  2. I think we all go through our own 'ruts' from time to time, and that's okay! What's important is that you're able to pull yourself out of it :) Here's to 2018!

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  3. Girl, I feel ya! I've been in a funk for a few weeks and I can't wait to feel normal again lol! You can get through this :-) Take some time for yourself <3

    Liz

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  4. I'm so glad that you're back!! Can't wait to see what you have in store!!

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  5. Thank you for your transparency! I work from home and some times I have to go work in a coffee shop to ensure my mood doesn't crash. You've got this!!! ❤️❤️❤️

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  6. Great post. As creatives it can sometimes feel a little overwhelming but I was definietly there with you. These last couple of months have been such a challenge getting it out. I mean I was over here sitting on new content and photos. But sometimes those breaks are good, and allowing yourself to feel those emotions for a moment for clear evaluation, and experience so that you can really take note of what fixes the situation the next time you have the same experience. I appreciate you sharing and I’m glad to see you working on your goals. Keep inspiring!!

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  7. We all have those days, weeks, etc! So glad you're feeling better & in a better place!

    xo!
    Shelby

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  8. Glad you are motivated again!! I definitely feel this way sometimes.. blogging can be super hard to keep up with! Good luck on your Whole30 too :)

    Xx,
    Lauren | lifestylesbylauren.com

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  9. I hate to hear you were feeling down and had some struggles at work last year, but I'm so glad to hear you're in a better space and your husband was supportive throughout the process. This blog post was amazing! I enjoyed reading every word. Thank you for sharing! On to bigger and better!

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  10. It's safe to say we've all had those kind of days/weeks/months before! Glad you've got a fresh new perspective on the year!

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  11. Something about the new year and post-holiday blues can get any of us into a rut. Glad to hear you're breaking out of it and good luck with your Whole30!

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  12. I feel ya girl. Well the new year is a good time to reset and refocus yourself. You can do this!

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  13. Totally understand...Ive been mia since December but making a come back this month. You look so pretty.

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  14. I’m glad you’re feeling better and have embraced positivity! It’s a great outlook for the new year

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  15. I’ve definitely been in this spot before and it’s sometimes hard to break out! Especially when you’re not 100% on your job. Here’s to a better 2018

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