10 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse

This past Saturday, my husband and I celebrated 10 years of being together. Well, we acknowledged that we have been together for 10 years and kind of reminisced on where we were when we first started dating up until now. It’s really hard for me to believe most of the time that we have actually been together for a decade now. 10 years ago, we were just two young kids who liked each other and were already best friends, so we wanted to see where this relationship could take us and to be where we are is just a huge blessing and I don’t take one day of our happiness for granted.

We have had 10 whole years of love, laughs, tears, arguments, family drama, growing pains, changes in our friend groups, and much more. Through it all, the ups and downs, we have always found our way back to being as giggly and in love as we were that very first year of dating. My husband still gives me butterflies and I never want them to stop! I think it’s important to note that every day is not all sunshine and rainbows. We fight, we disagree, but we reconnect and move on. I don’t think my husband and I have ever been mad at each other longer than a few hours and THAT is a skill I hope many people have or aspire to gain. Why, you may ask? Because I think life is entirely too short to dwell on silly disputes and misunderstandings. Every time we argue, the thought goes through my mind, “if something bad were to happen to one of us, would this argument matter?”, and every time my answer is NO.

SO, with ten years of being in love under our belt, I thought this would be the perfect time for me to share ten ways to reconnect with your spouse. Life happens. You lose your footing sometimes, and it doesn’t always spew from arguing. Sometimes your life can get to be so busy that you just look up and you and your significant other haven’t REALLY talked in a few days, but the important thing is to always try and find your way back. I hope you can remember these things and use them when you and your significant other just aren’t quite seeing eye to eye.

10 Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse

1. Go to Bed at the Same Time Most Nights
This is not something we are able to do EVERY single night, but most nights, we get in the bed at the same time. I have started going to sleep earlier than my husband, but he’s still in bed with me and I can snuggle up to him while he winds down by watching tv or reading. It just makes me feel closer to him and I love it!

2. Go Out on Dates Regularly. No Phone Rule.
This can be hard for a couple that stays busy, but you HAVE to pencil in regular date nights with your significant other. Make that time just for the two of you to reconnect and spend time together. Put the phones away and just talk. You’ll be amazed at how good you feel after catching up.

3. Ask Questions and LISTEN intently to the Answers
Do you ask your significant other every day how their day was? If you do, are you actually listening to what they say when they answer? I don’t mean the generic “my day was good” thing, but actually going into detail about your day. Ask follow up questions that show you’re truly engaged.

4. Plan Something Nice & Make it a Surprise
I LOVE surprises from my husband. They always make my day and I’m sure he appreciates when I surprise him as well. If my husband and I realize we have been super busy and a little disconnected, my husband likes to surprise me when I get home by having my favorite dinner, a dozen red roses, wine and dessert, and we just get to talk and he’s so attentive. It means so much!

5. Cheer Each Other On
If your significant other is excited about a venture they are partaking in, cheer them on and share their joy! Be their biggest fan and ask how you can help. Also, if your spouse is feeling down on themselves because they are having a moment where nothing seems to be going right, lift them up! Give encouragement and let them know you support them no matter what.

6. Take a Weekend Trip or Staycation
Get away! One of the best things you can do for your relationship is to get away sometimes! Especially if you have children. If you can’t leave the city or state, getting a hotel room for a night or two just to break up your routine will do wonders for you.

7. Try Something New Together
What’s something neither you or your significant have done before? Try it together! It’ll give you something to talk about and to be excited about.

8. Have Gratitude & Vocalize It
Thank your spouse for the little things. Of course the big ones too, but we can’t forget the small things they do that they don’t have to do, but choose to do. Being thankful goes a long way and you have to verbally let them know how much you appreciate them.

9. Set a Goal Together
Want to save a certain amount of money? Want to buy something nice for your home? Want to eat healthier? Want to start working out? Whatever your goal may be, do it with your significant other and hold each other accountable! It’ll be so rewarding when you reach your goal together.

10. Apologize When You’re Wrong
Saying “I’m sorry” and meaning it seems to be so difficult for adults these days and I’m not sure why. It’s okay to not be right all the time and it’s okay to have vulnerability with your spouse. Admit when you’re wrong and sincerely apologize for it. Now, the person on the receiving end, be receptive and not condescending. Let’s be adults about it! :)

What are some ways you reconnect with your spouse? I’d love to hear about them! Also, let me just take a moment to shoutout Jackie at J Mikado Photography for these AMAZING photos! These are not my husband and I’s wedding photos, but back in July we had the pleasure of being models in a wedding styled photo shoot for Today and Forever Weddings and it was so much fun! I absolutely LOVED being a bride again! I got all the feels. :)

Thank you so much for reading! Xo

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  1. OMG we have the same dating anniversary! On Saturday, we celebrated 11 years! WE're going to Disney next week (as we always do lol). I love all of these tips. I've been wanting to try something new, like a ballroom dancing class.


  2. these are such great tips, i couldn't agree more! we try to do these things too! congrats on 10 years!

    xx rebecca // www.rebeccapiersol.me

  3. These are such sweet suggestions! Our spouses are the most important people in our lives, and it's so important to continue to show them how much we love and value them!

  4. First of all: huge congratulations on 10 years together. That's such a special achievement that I'm sure you're proud of. Secondly: I'm thankful for you putting together this post. I'm only a year into my marriage and while I love it, it definitely has its challenges, so it's helpful to hear the advice given by someone who has been with their SO for such a long time. These are all things my husband and I work towards as well!

  5. These photos are AMAZING. Love all your pics. And congrats on 10 years together.

    ❥ tanvii.com

  6. Congrats to you both!! 10 years of marriage is definitely an accomplishment nowadays. These are all great tips! I've used several myself.

  7. This is SUCH a good post!! I literally just read every single one out loud to my finance! We are going to try to do the ones that we don't do already and we are definitely going to try to set goals together. Thanks for sharing!

  8. These are such great tips!! Congrats on ten years too xoxo sarah

  9. Such a great post girl friend! Really great tips. Happy Anniversary to you two!

    xo Laura Leigh

  10. I love all of these tips! I think everyone should try to follow these for happy and healthy relationships.

  11. Gratitude is SO important, as is no phones during date nights. Love this!

  12. These are really great tips, and the one I have the MOST trouble with (typically) is apologizing when I'm wrong I never want to admit it but I need to be a big girl and just do it because wrong is wrong. Thanks for the push!


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Through Jam's Eyes