4 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Marriage

I'm so obsessed with this photo of my husband and I because it reminds me of when we were two young kids. Don't get me wrong, we are STILL very young, but we have come a long way. I started dating my husband when he was 20 and I was 18. Here we are, just a few months shy of ten years together and I LOVE looking back on the growth between us. I know we will continue to grow our love and relationship as the years progress, but it's nice to stop and smell the flowers. :)

There's a lot of things we struggled with in those earlier years, but one of the main things was communication. In fact, most of our arguments stemmed from the fact that there was a lack in communication and it sucked! It didn't help that we were long distance for four years (see my post on how to make a long distance relationship work here) because in those instances, I believe GOOD communication is even more important. It is scientifically proven that there's a huge psychological difference between girls and boys, women and men especially when it comes to how we process things, our emotions, and COMMUNICATION. It was an uphill battle that we had to overcome, but I am so happy with the place we are in when it comes to communication.
In keeping with the theme of us celebrating 4 years of marriage this month (see previous posts here and here), I want to share 4 ways I believe will help improve communication in your marriage. If this is something you may struggle with, it's okay! It's important to acknowledge it, and then take steps to improve it.

Four Ways to Improve Communication in Your Marriage

1. Listen Intently Without Being Defense
Really listen to what your spouse has to say. Don't just listen for silence so you can have your rebuttal ready. Practice ACTIVE listening and seek to understand where the other party is coming from.
2. Establish What Good Communication Looks Like For You
This is important because everyone is different. You can't expect your spouse to be exactly like you when it comes to what effective communication looks like to them. Example, I like to talk to my husband throughout the day. When we first started dating, he would go ALL day and not talk to me and I didn't like that at all. We talked about it, and after a while he finally understood (it definitely did not change right away). It's funny because now, if I go too long without talking to him, he gets so upset because he has gotten used to OUR way of communication. It works for us. We can literally talk all day and then come home and talk more, haha!

3. Spend Time Talking Without Distractions
 Make time to catch up with your spouse without the distraction of your phone, social media, television, or anything else. Look each other in the eye and really listen. This will not only improve your communication, but I think this can improve a relationship completely.

4. Avoid "Mind-Reading" and Ask Specific Questions
Don't assume guys! If something is bothering you, don't try to assume or read the mind of your spouse. Talk to them and get everything out in the open. 

How do you and your spouse communicate effectively? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below!

Thank you so much for reading! xo


  1. Aww, I love these photos of you guys! I love how open and honest you are on your blog, I love reading your posts!

    xoxo Sarah

  2. This is such a great post and communication is so important!! These four ways are great, definitely believe in spending time talking without distractions.

    cute & little

  3. Mind reading is a huge one! Sometimes I think I know my husband so well after 10 years together and when I try to read his mind I have it all wrong!

  4. Anonymous4/24/2019

    THESE. ARE. SO. GOOD. My fiance and I were arguing this weekend and I definitely could be better at practicing #1

    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

  5. Love this and 100% with all of them! We are all about all of these honestly and have always made communication a top priority!

    xo Laura Leigh

  6. This is so sweet! Communication is so hard for people in general so in marriage, it's exceptionally vital!

    -xo, Azanique | https://www.lotsofsass.com

  7. Y'all are so cute! I could not agree more!

  8. Awww love this so much! Communication really is key when it comes to relationships!

  9. Communication is sooo important in relationship. Being able to discuss anything is the key to a healthy relationship.


Any comments you share with me are very much appreciated and I do my best to respond to each of you. I love feedback in all forms. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback and love with me. xo

Through Jam's Eyes