Quarantine Instagram Round Up + How I'm REALLY Feeling


HELLO FRIENDS!

Gosh, it feels like forever since I've been here and talked to my faithful blog readers. My last post like this was back in February, so I'd say it was time to update you guys again, especially considering the current world state. Go ahead and grab your wine and dive in with me girlfriends!

Have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate y'all? Because I DO! Seriously. :-) Thank you so much for visiting my little space here on the internet. Because of you, I get to continue to do what I love, and that is to connect with you and hopefully inspire you to live a life you love. I hope you all have been holding up okay during this crazy time in our lives. It has been about 67 days since I began social distancing in order to protect myself and my loved ones from COVID 19 and I'm still in disbelief that we are going through this! I mean when you really stop to think about the fact that the world basically shut down, it feels like we are in a movie. My heart seriously goes out to anyone who has had family members or close friends that have been affected by COVID 19. If you reading this have been affected, my heart goes out to you too. I'm sending you all the virtual hugs! I'm also SO very grateful for all of the essential workers who have not skipped a beat to ensure we are very well taken care of. From the doctors and nurses, to the grocery store and fast food workers. You are very much appreciated!

Now, WHAT'S NEW?




Back in April, Marcus and I celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary: Quarantine Style! Due to social distancing, we weren't able to go out to dinner or take a trip like we had originally planned to do, but y'all, our day was amazing. I'm so in love with my husband and just spending quality time with him is more than enough for me. We decided to have an indoor picnic and it turned out really cute. We watched our wedding video at our picnic and just had some great conversation. We talked about our vision for the next five years, how far we have come as a couple, and so many other amazing things. I was honestly really sad at first when I realized we wouldn't be able to travel to Paris like we had originally planned, but we really did end up enjoying our special day at home and we know we will be able to go to Paris another time when the world isn't in a pandemic. I feel very blessed!




God works in mysterious ways, let me tell you. Remember in this post when I mentioned how happy I was because I had finally started working again after being unemployed for two years? Well, life's funny sometimes! Due to the coronavirus pandemic, I was laid off from that job. It was a huge smack to the gut and my ego simply because I had never been laid off of any job for any reason. And although I KNEW this layoff wasn't due to anything I had done and it had everything to do with the current state of the economy, I still couldn't believe it was happening to me. I was DEEP in my feelings for about 12 hours, no lie, and then I started to see the bright side. See, my two years of being unemployed and in a season of waiting taught me that! It taught me how to think positive, pause, and listen and learn from the situations God place me in. I chose to focus on the positive; I was nervous about being out and about due to COVID 19 anyway, so being laid off allowed me to stay home and stay safe.

When I look in the mirror at the woman I am today vs. the woman back in 2018, I have grown leaps and bounds! Back in 2018 I was discouraged, pretty close to (if not fully into) depression, I lacked motivation to do anything, and I just wasn't happy. I wasted so much time! I could have channeled all of my energy into the things that make me the happiest and I just couldn't do it. It took so much time and prayer and I'm so glad that this time around I can say that I've fully embraced this season for what it is and I have chosen to focus my energy on the things I can control. I've done so many home projects, I've been working on my new business ideas, I've caught up with friends and family I hadn't talked to in forever, my husband and I are able to spend even more quality time together, and most of all; I have been working on ME.


The self-work that has been happening in my household has been INSANE.. in a great way! I have been reading my Bible, journaling weekly, reading more, and I've also been trying to establish some sort of fitness routine. I'm so grateful for the overall headspace I am in right now! Don't get me wrong, every day is not perfect. In fact, it's quite ironic that while I do feel like I'm making leaps and bounds in my personal growth journey, there have still been situations we are dealing with that test me daily. When I feel myself slipping into sadness or lacking in my faith, I journal and read my Bible more! I'm truly trying to rely solely on God to provide the desires of my heart. Faith and fear do not go together, but it's easier said than done, trust me, I know. However, I know I'm growing and I'm not afraid to acknowledge that I'm becoming a better person.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen this post where I talked about the promise I made to myself. That promise is that my 30s will be different. My 29th birthday is next month and I am starting my small intentional changes now in order to take charge of the next decade of my life. Way too often have I let fear drive my decisions, way too often have I not been myself in order to impress other people, and I am absolutely done. It's going to be really hard, but I plan to share a lot of the lessons I am learning here on this blog. I've always been an open book here with y'all, but I don't think I've gotten to the level of transparency that I will reach within the next year just yet. I'm honestly nervous because I REALLY care what you guys think of me and I have a true fear of being judged, but both of those things have held me back in the past and I'm not going to let it anymore. So, I hope you guys will stick around with me as I maneuver this new season of my life.




So how am I REALLY feeling? Every day when I turn on the news and when I sit and really think about this pandemic, I feel so sad to see all of the new cases of coronavirus and all of the people who are sick and losing their lives and loved ones. I am keeping all of the people negatively effected by COVID 19 in my thoughts and prayers. I am the type of person that if I'm not careful, I will get major anxiety from just thinking about "what if" in these types of situations, so because of that, I have always forced myself to be as positive as I can. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. In this case, for the majority of these 67 days, I have been able to remain positive. Although this pandemic has been a MAJOR inconvenience, I have truly been able to see the blessing in it. I have three journals; one for prayers, one for miscellaneous thoughts, and one for gratitude. My gratitude journal has helped me so much to focus on the positive. If you're someone who is struggling with positive thoughts, I highly recommend getting one (I also recommend taking a break from the news. It can be so draining). We must always remember that even in the midst of a storm, there is always something to be thankful for.




How have you guys been feeling during this pandemic? Whether I know you personally or not, I'm definitely here to be a listening ear if you need to vent about how you're feeling. If we can't unite during a time like this, then this world is DEFINITELY doomed. I have love in my heart for you all, and I pray and hope you are all safe and healthy. I'd love to hear about how you're feeling in the comments.

Thank you so much for being here and for reading! xo

12 comments

  1. Love this sis! So proud of you for being extremely transparent and open!!

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  2. So cute you did a roundup of your posts, such a fun idea!

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  3. I love that you made that most of your anniversary even if we all had to stay inside! Your floral print workout outfit and eyelet dress is so cute!

    www.rdsobsessions.com

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  4. I appreciate your vulnerability in this post, and the fact that you opened up about how things have been for you. Your positivity is contagious. It's amazing that you're finding the good in the midst of challenges!

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  5. I too need to make some intestinal changes, because I have a lot of gut and stomach issues long-term. I find that gluten doesn't make me feel so great, but somehow I still end up consuming it!

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  6. GLad to hear you're taking a positive spin from unfortunate circumstances. You'll never regret investing in yourself! xoxo, Sarah

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  7. Sounds like we've had a similar month lol! We just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago and my birthday is in two weeks. WE normally travel for both but can't for obvious reasons. It's definitely been a bummer but we've just been making the best out of it! I've also been experiencing lots of gut issues!

    Lizzie
    www.lizzieinlace.com

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  8. WHEW quarantine sure has been a doozy, we are all struggling with different things and also celebrating the little things as well. Thanks for opening up here with this raw, lovely post!

    xx rebecca // www.rebeccapiersol.me

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  9. All of your thoughts and feeling are so valid. I think it's safe to say we have all been there.

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  10. Being laid off can be so hard, yet it happens to most people. I was laid off from my job two years ago, forcing me to change directions in my career and I've honestly never been happier. Hang in there!

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  11. I am sorry to heard about your job. But glad to read that you are staying positive and moving forward. Every day is a different story but I try and focus on all the good and be patient with everyone around me.

    ❥ tanvii.com

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  12. I have a lot of opinions and thoughts about the pandemic, but I do think it's nuts to have kept us inside for so long and now as we try to get back to some kind of normalcy, the numbers will rise again. I feel like California will end up being closed the rest of the year because once they reopen in the coming weeks, we'll start getting into flu season and researchers have said there will be another wave in the fall. I just know we can't close like this in the future, and I think we should have taken the approach some European countries did and let it ride out but close the borders.

    There's so much more to this then a virus, and I'm sure we've all got our theories. I'm just glad I live in a state that's open, since people will take their time going back outside. It's such a weird feeling to be slightly scared to go outside!

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Through Jam's Eyes